Neilma was born and raised in The White House, Upton Road, Watford, and spent her teenage years in Croxley Green. She started a cake making business for which she showed great talent, and delighted many future friends in Chipperfield with an amazing variety of cakes to mark special occasions. She married Anthony Coates in 1970, setting up home in a new house in Kings Lane.
Their first child, Sandra, was born with liver disease and despite wonderful care from Great Ormond Street hospital, she died at the age of six. Neilma and Anthony worked hard to raise money for research into this condition.There followed three sons, Peter, Richard and Andrew, of whom they were very proud.
Neilma was an active member of St. Pauls church, serving in various capacities. As well as playing the harp, she was a keen member of the WI and sang alto in The Choral Society for twenty five years. Sadly, Anthony died in 1994.
Some years later, when listening to Classic FM, Neilma heard John being interviewed live on air. He was hoping to meet someone with whom he could share his enjoyment of classical music concerts. She contacted him and I can recall her excitement at the prospect of going on a blind date! The friendship that grew between them led to their very happy wedding day at St. Pauls in 2001.
Two years later they moved to the village of Abbots Ann, near Andover, to the charmingly thatched Rose Cottage. John and Neilma became active members of St. Marys Church. They helped in the village store, which is run by volunteers and Neilma started the Abbots Ann Swimming Club, using a newly built pool at Farleigh School. Neilma was so pleased to have been well enough to enjoy the wedding day of Richard and Catherine, last summer – a day on which the sun shone brightly.
Neilmas fight with cancer was lost on 22 December. She died at home, surrounded by her family. In accordance with her wishes, her ashes have been interred in St. Pauls Garden of Remembrance alongside those of Sandra and Anthony. Her name will be added to those of Sandra and Anthony on the plaque by the Acer tree in the Churchyard.
This tree was grown from a leaf from the original tree that Neilma had planted in their memory. That tree was felled to make way for the parish room, but provided the wood for the cross inside, so wonderfully crafted by Dick Onions.
Neilma was a very talented, gentle, self-effacing, kind and caring lady. Despite the sadness in her life, she wore an air of calm contentment and peace drawn from the great strength of her Christian faith, which was a wonderful comfort and help to her friends and family during her illness.
Finally, a memory fondly recalled by a friend is that of accompanying Neilma on a trip to Scotland to visit her brother. Having landed on a wind-swept beach in a light aircraft, they spent the next four days driving through tree-lined lanes, over deserted moorlands and hills, all the while admiring the beautiful landscapes. The only stops were for coffee and lunch and to enable Neilma to recover from the constant attacks of uncontrollable laughter.
Lesley Baker